Patience

As I read for class and listen to "Give into Me" by Garrett Hedlund & Leighton Meester, I think about my ex. Sometimes I miss him, but most times I just miss someone. I was talking to my lovely friend Jessica about it the other day. My ex left me without very much closure and with this emptiness. I feel lonely, alone (their not the same thing) and like I'm missing that special someone (whoever he is). I want to feel loved and cherished and it's really difficult not to fulfill this feeling with someone who will leave in the morning and not truly care. I've tried that and it leaves me feeling worse. Actually, I've tried it on more than one occasion and every time I'm left feeling more and more empty. 


I used to say that I didn't trust God's plan for me. I thought that my ex and I were going to be together for a long time and we weren't meant to break up but I know now that that was exactly what was supposed to happen. I am now awaiting my prince...as cheesy as that sounds. I am waiting for the one who deserves me and will love me wholly without flaw. It will be magical and romantic and everything I've ever wanted. Until then, I pray to God for patience. Patience is what I have been struggling with, not trust. I fully trust this plan, His plan, although it's very difficult at times. I just need the patience to endure the stretch of time it will be until I find THE one. Because I believe that people have soul mates. It's possible to love many times and have a few husbands/wives...but there is only one soul mate. In this period of being single where I will get to know myself and prepare myself for the up and coming, I will grow and get ready for what will be truly special. I'm excited, but in the mean time it won't always be easy, nor will it always feel good. 


I guess I'm just gonna have to fill up on the love in romance movies :)