Okay, yeah, nevermind. Scratch that lent idea. It was great at first and I'll probably still end up sending those two letters I wrote. I began to feel stupid, repetitive and unchallenged. So i'm giving up bread. Day 1 is hard!
So here I go! No bread! My thighs will thank me.
I've been pretty all over the place with my emotions today. I was dragging all day, skipping classes and just laying around reading, napping and watching Country Strong. Don't get me wrong, it was a great day, but I don't like skipping classes or feeling mopy. I usually get a little depressed when I do that. And tonight I felt so emotionally out of control...ugh. I sobbed while taking a drive because of my dog. She pooped in the house and it was just another reminder of how old she is. When she has to go, she goes and so that means she poops in the house. Poor thing. She's 15 years old and still strong and healthy but little things here and there let me know just how old she is and how much time I have left with her. It's sad to say but it's something I have to face. And when I do, I usually end up in tears. So, I sobbed the whole way there (to wherever) and back on my drive, then came home and took a shower and felt better.
But then the ex texted me and my day got emotional again. He needed my advice and wanted to talk to me, even though I made it perfectly clear that if he ever contacted me I would probably get the authorities involved. I'm not some some psycho bitch with a crazy ex, he just bothers me and always tries to contact me, even though I've asked him several times to stay away and not talk to me. I would just do it to let him know how serious I am. I don't think I could ever actually do it...then I would feel like a psycho bitch.
So, of course, my curiosity got the best of me and I called him. Lucky me, I got to hear him talk and ask advice about whether he should stay with his current girlfriend or not. Ugh, this blows. Why can't I have a normal love life? Plus, all the guys I choose are total losers and usually end up messing with my heart and mind.
Dear God, please give me a normal boyfriend the next I find someone fit to deserve me. And in the mean time, please give me the patience to wait for that right man and respectful thoughts towards all other men.
Sometimes I'm just completely rude to men because of how a few particulars have hurt me. It's not fair to them. But seriously, my heart has been stomped on enough that I deserve a little attitude, right? I mean, without attitude, I will just be nice to them all and that would probably lead to another heart break. That's not happening again. No sir-e!
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